


Dear Stranger

by roguelightning



Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-14 23:30:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11793717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguelightning/pseuds/roguelightning
Summary: A collection of letters between Helen and Nikola, set around 1943. The catch? Neither knows who they're writing to... or do they?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OK so this is what you get when you leave me stranded on a beach somewhere with nothing but my brain to keep me company. I originally wanted this to be some sort of a You've got mail AU, but I changed my mind. To what? Well I'll let you know when I find out myself xd

He knew them all, by now. It really wasn't hard, in the end. For most of them, what made them different were the patterns in their feathers. Nothing but grey here, a few spots of white there... Some, however, were trickier to distinguish, but there were still patterns, in the way they walked, in the way they pecked at whatever he threw at them, and, for some, even in their personality. Because yes, they had such thing, more than some people he had known in his life. 

Good grief, he was becoming so sentimental lately. Maybe his age was starting to get the better of him, at least psychologically speaking, if not in other ways. He quickly dismissed the thought. It was probably the war that had made him hate people even more than before. But it really was hard not to, with all the atrocities he had witnessed. Add to that the very nice bonus of his... What the hell was she, afterall? He had no idea, other than the fact that they were currently on different continents,  and that she could die any second,  because of course the damn woman had to be on the battlefield, _I can't stand aside and do nothing, Nikola, you know that, and besides, I won't be alone, I'm going with James._  He muttered, mocking her. And yes, it was the last part he had the biggest problem with, not that he was willing to admit that to anyone. 

The pigeons were all he had now, he thought, as he absent-mindedly took some grains in his hand and threw them at the birds. As always, they came with a flutter of wings and surrounded him. It was then when he noticed a new one among the others. It was a brown one, a bit bigger than the others, and, what was the most interesting thing about it, it had some sort of a harness on his back. It did seem to have a bit of training, though, because it didn't run away when he grabbed it and took the letter it was carrying. He knew he shouldn't have got his nose in that, but he was bored and curiosity got the better of him. Besides, he didn't have anything better to do, he mused as he opened the letter and started reading it.  

_Dear stranger,_

_If you found this letter you will probably wonder if it was meant for you. That, or you will wonder why I didn't use normal post. I do not have the answer for the second question, but yes, this letter was meant to you, since by some twist of fate you found it._

_You might think that I am a sentimental fool, who is just looking for a shoulder to cry on. Truth is, you couldn't be farther from the truth. I have always considered myself to be a rational person, sometimes even more rational than I should have probably been... I like rational thinking, you know. Rational thinking is safe, and, for a very long time, safe had been enough for me. Until one night when I threw ration out the window and I did something really stupid. It did feel incredibly right at the moment, I cannot deny that, but I hurt some people in the process,  and that could have been easily avoided. Some oaths are made for a reason, and, while the part with do no harm mostly refers to physical harm, well, I really should have listened to other parts... That would have been the rational thing to do, and it would have saved a lot of people a lot of trouble. Truth is, I am bloody awful at timing._

_I guess what I am really trying to say is that you should be grateful for what you have. I don't care how unhappy you think you are, or how little money you think you have. Trust me, there is at least something in your life that you are really lucky to have, and you probably don't even realize it. I only pray that you will not make the same mistake as I did and realize what that thing is before you lose it. You see, I almost lost mine, and I risked everything to get it back, and I do mean everything... I seem to have a talent for not thinking when it comes to certain things..._

_But, I talked way too much and you probably have no bloody idea what I am talking about anyway... It's better this way, trust me. You wouldn't like me if you met me, probably. Not many people do, and the ones that do are... Well, problematic, to say the least._

_Please, ignore everything you've read. As I said, I would hate for you to think I am a sentimental fool, but I think I just needed to talk to someone about this, and well, simply put, all my friends are busy with other people at the moment, and trust me when I say I can't interfere in that. If, however, you are crazy enough to want to contact me, well, the bird knows my address. I really should advise you against it, however. I am nothing but trouble._

He took the letter and folded it carefully, fitting it neatly into one of his pockets. He sneaked the pigeon in his hotel room, careful not to alert anyone - hotel staff had a tendency of being jerks to pigeons, and while the ones here weren't nearly as bad as the ones at Plaza, he was not in the mood for that kind of lectures. He sat at his study,  taking out a piece of paper. _Dear trouble_ , he wrote. Well, this was bound to be interesting...


	2. Chapter 2

She hadn't expected any reply, not really. After all, she had little to no experience with homing pigeons - sure, that one wasn't exactly a pigeon, but it was close enough. She really hoped the little guy was ok, New York could be a dangerous place at times. _Especially for you,_ a voice in the back of her head muttered, but Helen chose to ignore it. OK, so she had rented a flat only a few blocks away from Central Park, big deal. New York was a big city and neither of them were going out too much those days, so then chances of the two of them running into each other were extremely low. It was all for the better, meeting Nikola was the last thing she needed at the moment, especially after Vienna. She thanked heavens for the peck at the window that distracted her from her thoughts, because her body had just decided to remind her that she had a very good sensorial memory and she really didn't need that. She opened the window and let the bird in, taking the letter of its back. Carefully, she opened the envelope and began reading. 

_Dear trouble,_

_The first thing you should know about me is that I have a complete lack of respect for rules. You see, most of the times rules do nothing good for you. They only set boundaries you probably neither wanted nor needed. Not to mention that between breaking some rules and satisfying my curiosity... Yeah, the latter always seemed more appealing to me._

_Another thing you should know about me is that I don't do friends. I did once and it was more than enough for me. Even if "friends" is a bit too much to say. A more accurate description would be "friend and some guys I put up with because I just happened to have the same taste in women as they did". What I am trying to say is that, while you may seem remotely interesting -which is why I answered to your letter in the first place - this doesn't mean we are even close to friends. Nothing personal, really, just that I don't like people that much._

_Yes, I know I am being bitter. I happen to be very good at that, but I assure you it comes from a whole life of being proved time and again that most people aren't worth the trouble in the first place. You're probably not worth the trouble either, you being just a kid and all, but there was something in what you wrote that got my attention. You seem to think you have made a mistake because you didn't think rationally once. Well you know what I think about that? Ration is not all that it's cracked up to be. I had a ~~lover~~ friend ~~lover~~ ~~I don't really know actually~~ and she was the most rational person I have ever met. To tell you the truth, it was infuriating. I am all for ration when it comes to professional matters, don't get me wrong, but when it comes to personal matters... Truth be told, she needed to forget about ration every once in a while, and she did once, but then... Then I guess she just went back to being rational and I may have lost her forever. So don't expect me to tell you that ration is a good thing because I will never believe that. I always thought that you shouldn't let anyone tell you what you can or what you can't do, especially ration. If I had listened to ration a few times in my life, to all those people that told me I couldn't do certain things.... let's just say that the world would have been a much darker place. _

_As for any of the people you might have hurt in the process... people get hurt all the time. Sometimes, it ends up being your fault. You will learn to live with this in time, trust me. God, she'd kill me if she heard me talking like this... But then again, she always liked people more than I did. Don't tell her, but that might have been one of the hottest things about her. Not the hottest, but it's definitely up there in top nine at least._

_I guess what I am trying to say is, and I beg you to trust the words of an old man here, forget about ration. Your life is too short to waste time thinking of such stupid things._

_Also you know you said I wouldn't like you if I met you in person? Well, you would absolutely adore me if you met me. You see, I am most certain you wouldn't be able to resist to my arresting good looks, which is the only reason I don't want to meet either. Well, that and the fact that I may be followed by some people and you don't deserve that kind of complications in your life. That is also the reason I have to ask you not to want to know my name. It is only fair, in the end -you don't ask my name and I don't follow your little bird back to your home - you know I can do that, right?_

_Speaking of which, can I ask why pigeons? I would be the last person to deny there are certain benefits to them, but I am curious why you picked them. Also, find a more friendly one next time, will you? This little bastard bit my finger while I was writing you this._

_Yours very truly,  
A stranger._

Her first impulse was to throw the letter straight to the trash, where it belonged. Trust her damn luck to have the letter found by a condescending bastard. The nerve of that guy, assuming she was a teenager... If only she could have told him she was probably five times his age... While she couldn't do that, she could at least teach the guy a lesson, make him take it down a notch. If there was one thing she didn't like it was entitled bastards like this one. _Oh, so when it's a stranger, he's an entitled bastard, but when it's someone you want to fuck senseless it's endearing, huh? Great logic there._ The voice provided, but Helen decided to ignore it and started to write. .


	3. Chapter 3

                The pigeon had found him. This was… unusual, to say the least. No, scratch that, it was straight down dangerous. Homing pigeons weren’t supposed to travel between two destinations, you left them at one place and then they went home, hence the name.  And alright, with some training you could make them fly between two locations, but he doubted this one had had that kind of training. Add to that the fact that he was supposed to die the following week and he was starting to think that the whole thing might have been a trap. Nah, it couldn’t have been. FBI wasn’t exactly known for dealing with pigeons, they were too stupid to realize why that could be a good idea.

                With that in mind, he took the letter if the pigeon’s back and started reading it.

_Dear stranger,_

_For the record, I am only calling you “dear” because that is the polite thing to do, not because I hold any kind of affection or respect to you, not after the last letter. You see, I am a lot more familiar with your type than you might think. I bet you’re somewhere in your 30s and you think that you’re the most attractive man alive, and that I am some teenager that has had a crush that went bad. Well, I got news for you. I am probably way older than you are, and while it did go bad, it wasn’t exactly a crush. No, it was a lot more complicated than that, but it started from a mutual understanding of each other and a great deal of mutual respect. The fact that we ended up sleeping together was a mistake from my part and I will have to live with that, and with the fact that he probably hates me now because of it, but what will never change is that we have a lot more in common than you might understand._

_I doubt you would even begin to understand what was between us, to tell you the truth. You’re an arrogant bastard, aren’t you? What I don’t get is why this woman you speak about has put up with you. I mean, you might be remotely attractive, but from what you tell me of her, she doesn’t seem the type to fall head over heels for you just because of the way you look. Also, about the ones that are following you… I’m thinking you got in love with a married woman and she didn’t want to be with you, because she is married, but she was close enough to you to give you hope. What happened, her husband found out about you and decided to hunt you down?_

_Also, as a side note, next time you write to a woman, can you please not presume that she would want to bed you if she met you in person? I doubt there is anything more infuriating than being at the receiving ends of that, trust me.  I had my share of men in my life and most assumed that in like ten minutes after meeting me. I had fought ages to be taken seriously and while I managed in the end, I will never forget my teenage years, when everybody thought that a pretty face like mine either belonged in the kitchen or between some man’s legs and not in a laboratory. While I got away out of both outcomes, thank God, I still don’t appreciate being talked to in such a condescending matter. True, it’s not the worst thing that a man ever did to me, but I am also saying this in hope that in the future you will meet a woman and maybe you’ll fall in love with her and she won’t just because you’re an ass. I’m trying to prevent you from that._

_You know, when I started writing this I was more pissed at you than I am at the moment, now that I think about it. That is probably because while I will die saying that being an obnoxious ass all the time won’t do you too good with any woman, I will admit that there can be something enticing about some parts of this. Not the being an ass part per se, but sometimes being an ass has a little edge of “I’m an ass because I have a hidden agenda and I am quite sure you’ll never get it because I am better than you” and that… well, let’s just say that is fun to prove wrong. Except the days when said hidden agenda turns out to be awful and you end up having to clean up and what is worse you’re stuck in a situation that makes you realize some things which you REALLY didn’t want to realize… But, I digress._

_On another note, you asked me why pigeons. The simple answer to that, and the only one you’re going to get, because if I told you the whole truth you’d probably make fun of me, is that pigeons are wonderful creatures. I’ve only started to realize this a few years ago, but there are so many things they can be good at, and sending letters is one of them. Besides, as you have guessed, I do value my privacy, and this was a way of guaranteeing I got an answer to my letter without having to give away my home address. And from what you tell me, this is a good option for you too. This way we can write each other and the only one who knows our address is Nick. Yes, that is the pigeon’s name. Don’t ask why I called him that because explaining would… well, explaining might get a bit in the way of our little privacy agreement, to be honest. No, actually I am way too cautious about this, to be honest. Chances of you figuring out some things are almost zero, but this is a bad time for things pointing out in certain directions, even if they would be pointing in a really subtle manner._

_Yes, I am a woman with a lot of secrets, if you didn’t figure that out by now. I am actually curious if that will scare you off or if it will make you think that I am interesting enough for you to waste time on me. Not that I would care, of course. I am not sure I want to continue this, because, while you may have made some good points, there is the little issue with you being a bit too condescending for my liking. We could continue this if you accept the fact that I am, in fact, not a teenager – heck, I am probably two times your age, if I am to be honest. Which is why I ask of you to treat me with respect next time you write to me, if you choose to do so._

_Also, the pigeon had to bite you. Don’t take it personally._

Nikola folded the letter with a smile and put it in his drawer, next to the other one. Well, color him intrigued. There was actually something interesting about this woman. No, it was more than interesting. It was almost as if… no, it couldn’t have been. It wasn’t like her and she had too much on her head to engage in this sort of things with him while planning his death at the same time. Unless… A thought crossed his mind, but it was a bit too improbable, even for him. But he was going to get to the bottom of this. With that in mind, he sat down and began writing.


	4. Chapter 4

                She didn’t expect an answer, not after her last letter. But still, her bird had returned with a letter, and so she opened it, expecting something along the lines of being told that she was way out of the line for a woman (the term _feminazi_ would be invented only half a century later, she mused, so what was the worst thing that guy could have called after that letter? ) What she didn’t expect, however, was three carefully written pages, in a handwriting that had changed a bit from the last time she had received a letter. It was the same person writing her, she could tell that, but this time the writing had changed a bit, as if whoever was writing her tried to hide something. What, she couldn’t tell, so she decided to put this aside for the moment and began reading.

                _Dear trouble,_

                _My God, you really live up to your name, don’t you? To be honest, I find that infuriating and humbling, in a way. And the thing with me is that I don’t do humble, not with too many people, and you (still) don’t deserve to be in that category. But still, I was wrong about you, and that is not a thing I like to admit._

_You see, the thing is, as you may have guessed, I have assumed that you are a teenager who did some arguably silly stuff like running away from home with her beau and who now regrets it. I didn’t expect you to be around 60 years old and to be remembering something from your youth, it that is really what you are doing… More on that later, I promise. But for now, I will apologize for thinking so little for you, and keep in mind that is the only thing on the matter you will ever hear from me. No, I don’t like apologizing either, thank God that I didn’t need to do it too often in my life._

_To be fair, I will admit that, while my ego did take a blow from being so wrong about you, you weren’t too close to the reality either. You see, you think that I’m somewhere in my 30s – that part is mostly true, so to speak, at least in the ways that count . You also seem to think that I had some affair with a married woman who decided to break up with me because it hurt her too much. And that, my dear friend, is where you are wrong. I did have what could be normally referred to as an affair, even though calling it like that is beyond insulting, because it makes us sound like two damn rabbits that only wanted to fuck, and that… well, it was way deeper than that. I think. You never know with this woman, one day she’s with you, and the other one she’s with someone else… I refuse to call her a player, though, but I pretty much ran out of excuses for her. Anyway, I digress. What I’m trying to say here is that she wasn’t married, thank you very much, but we still didn’t work out for some stupid reason that makes the whole thing between us be dangerous. That is, if you ask her, of course, I told you she had some problems with being rational. I don’t really know what is between us, to be honest, but I do know that I will die loving that woman, as complicated as that would be._

_But then again, enough about me. You made a few theories regarding myself, and while you were wrong, I take that as an invitation to make some about you. And if that comes in conflict with our little privacy agreement, as you put it, well that’s too bad. Truth be told, I am curious about some things – that, and I have a theory, and let us face it, I have been nothing if not curious throughout my life._

_You see, there are two things about you that kinda contradict each other. Your last letter let me with a strange feeling, one that I couldn’t quite place at first, so I started thinking. Of course, the easier solution would have been to follow the bird back to your place, but one, I promised not to do that, and I am nothing if not a man of my word, and two, well, where would have been the fun in that? So I remembered what you wrote in your first letter. No, I didn’t keep it, and I didn’t read it more than once, in case that is what you are thinking. So don’t let it go to your head; I just happen to have a very good memory. You said that you broke an oath, one that said that you should do no harm, and that that part somehow refers to physical damage mostly. So naturally, I started thinking. You see, first I thought that the oath part was just a figure of speech, that you wanted to sound a bit dramatic or something. But then I received your second letter where you mention being in a laboratory, which made me think that you are some sort of scientist. Add to that the thing with doing no harm, and I figured you’re some sort of a doctor, because the Hippocratic Oath and all? And then, of course, there is this… lover you keep talking about, the one I believe you lost before realizing it you wanted him in the first place. From the way you talk about this, well, I hope you will forgive me for the conclusion I came to, which is… You slept with one of your patients, you little minx, didn’t you? I would bet my life that this is what happened, and then it went south for some reason. Of course, my life isn’t worth much these days, but still, the bet holds. What really makes me doubt this theory, however, is that you speak of it as if it was yesterday, and yet, by my calculations, you’re in your 60s and well… That makes my theory a bit too improbable, sadly. Well, one of my theories, the simplest of them, if you want to be more specific._

_Yes, that means I do  have a backup theory, which to be honest is even crazier than the first one, and which I can’t tell you, because if I’m wrong it would mean disclosing important information to strangers, and if I’m right… God, I don’t even know, and sadly now it’s really not the time to meet you and get a very detailed explanation on how the devil you pulled this off. Never mind what “this” is, I can’t explain it in a letter and I don’t want to either._

_Also, allow me to reiterate the question I asked you before. Why pigeons? What you said does make sense, but you said there was more to it, and I want to hear everything. I won’t make fun of you, I promise. Nick is a very odd name for a pigeon, did anybody tell you that?_

_I really hope that you’ll answer me all these questions. After all, what’s the worst that could happen? We don’t know each other, so even if I do find out some things about you, it may help you too, you know, to get them off your chest or whatever people with friends do with stuff that bothers them… I wouldn’t know, I told you before that I normally don’t do friends, but I am just curious. That, and I love being proven right, and if I am right with everything, well, then I’ll have enough to think about until I die and long after, so I can see this as something we can both benefit for._

_And about you being a woman with a lot of secrets… Please, if I got scared of this my life would have been a lot easier and a lot more boring. It takes a lot more than that to scare me, trust me._

_Yours very truly,_

_A stranger._

                Helen couldn’t help a smile when she finished the letter. Alright, so while the guy may have been a bastard, he was a smart one. _Too smart_ , she thought. Almost as if… but no, that was impossible. That feeling she had was just her stupid heart trying to compensate stuff and making her see things that weren’t there. Still, she had to admit that the guy deserved an answer, even though she would have to lie a bit…


	5. Chapter 5

                It was stupid, and he knew it all too well. He was supposed to die later that day, and that meant he would have to leave his hotel room in time for Helen to make all the necessary preparations. He had asked her for a bit more time, to set his things in order, but she wasn’t too content about this. Not to mention she was beginning to feel suspicious. She knew he wasn’t keeping too many written things, so she was bound to ask him to tell her the truth sooner or later. And the truth wasn’t an option at the moment, sadly. Even without the possible complications that he didn’t even know they were true (though he had prayed for them to be true, as crazy as they may have sounded), Helen would have still gone ballistic at the idea of him writing to a woman who he didn’t actually know and who could have easily been a spy.

                But no, whoever was writing him wasn’t a spy, he knew that much. Even considering that someone may have dug a bit in his past and learned a thing or two, the letters didn’t sound like they had been written by an FBI agent. And alright, he had made some huge mistakes regarding the identity of whoever was writing to him, but she wasn’t dangerous. That at least, he knew.

                What he hadn’t expected was the damn bird to come at his window the minute Helen entered his room. He barely had the time to snatch the letter of its back before she caught him.

                “Honestly, Nikola!” she exclaimed. “For the last time, the pigeons will be fine. We really have to go now, I would rather have you out of town by midnight.”

                “Yeah, let me just…” he started saying, but she cut him off, closing the window.

                “Now, Nikola.” Helen warned, and he didn’t have any choice but to do as told. “Are you coming?” He asked with a sigh as he went to the door, but Helen seemed fixated on something. Apparently the bird had no intention of leaving, having settled on staying on the window sill.

                “Nikola, when was the first time you saw that bird?” Helen inquired and he could sense that there was something troubling her.

                “I… I don’t remember. A few days ago? It’s just a pigeon, leave it. You said we need to go.”

                “Even more so, at the moment. That is not a pigeon.” Helen sighed as she drew her gun. “Take the stairs, I’m right behind you.”

                They had reached the car pretty easily, despite Helen’s concerns, but they were still in danger, so he didn’t protest when she almost shoved him inside.

                “We don’t have much time.” Helen whispered. “The driver will take you to a safe place, from there, it’s up to you. I’m not sure we’ll be able to contact each other any time soon, so be careful, alright?”

                “Hey, I’m the vampire in this relationship, remember? I’ll be fine. Just make sure I have a nice funeral, alright? And if someone mentions that asshole’s name, please kill him for me.”

                “Which asshole are we talking about here?”

                “All of them. If they mention the Italian one, however, make sure they die a painful death.”

                “You just had to get yourself in this mess, hadn’t you? Of all the stupid things you’ve done…” Helen sighed. “Just promise you’ll try to stay out of trouble.”

                “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re worried for me.” Nikola said with a smirk.

                “Promise me, Nikola.” Helen replied. “No trouble for you, not if I can’t get you out of it.”

                “That can be arranged. One more thing.” With that, he pulled her inside the car next to him and crushed his lips to hers. He kissed her hungrily, biting and sucking at her lower lip until her muffled protests turned into moans of pleasure as she opened her mouth, allowing him entrance. His tongue entered her abruptly, caressing her own and not leaving a single corner of her mouth unexplored. She was the one who broke the kiss, pushing him away. It took a few breaths to gain her composure, but when she did, he couldn’t help a smile at the look on her face. She was rendered almost speechless, panting hard as she passed two fingers over her lips, as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened.

                “Nikola…”

                “You look like this was the first time I kissed you.” He said, cutting off whatever she was going to say.

                “This _is_ the first time you kissed me.” Helen argued.

                “I’ll stay out of trouble if you stay too.” Nikola grinned. “Goodbye, Helen.” With that, he closed the door and signaled the driver to start the engine, leaving her alone in the street. As soon as she got out of sight, he took the letter from his pocket, where he had hidden it, and began reading.

                _Dear stranger,_

_If you must know, the oath is actually something along the lines of “do good, or do no harm”. This can sometimes translate to, if you know that getting involved in something will cause people trouble, stay the bloody hell out of it. And that, my friend, is the exact opposite of what I did._

_Yes, I did sleep with one of my patients, if you want to be crude about it. Though, to be quite honest, that would be an understatement. A more accurate description would be “we did things to each other that I didn’t believe were humanly possible.” I hope this will explain why I speak of it as if it were yesterday – I don’t think I will ever forget that week, no matter how many years have passed since then._

_However, that was not the problem. You see, he wasn’t the first of my patients I slept with. I hope you won’t think less of me when you hear that. No, the problem was, me and him… we’re complicated. We’ve been through so much together over the years… I don’t know when I realized the way I feel about him, but I am pretty sure it was when he almost died in my arms. You see, I have always regarded him as some sort of failsafe, you know? We were very close friends, above all, and I always thought that, should I want us to become more than that, I could always go to him and he will be there, waiting for me with his arms open. But then, I almost lost him (it was his fault, actually, but that is not important) and it made me realize how I really feel about him. Truth is, I love him and I am certain he loves me back, but it just… wasn’t the time for us to happen. And I say that not as someone who believes in faith and things like that, but as someone who is well aware of the fact that staying with him would have complicated things to a degree I just couldn’t afford. So naturally, I did the most logical thing I could and I left him. Not only that, but I led him to believe that I had found another and that I was happy with him. I hoped he would love me enough to take some solace in the fact that I at least seemed to be happy with another and that he would forget me in time. I don’t know how that worked out, because we haven’t contacted each other since that night in Vienna._

_Truth is, I miss him dearly, and there is a part of me that will always hope he would return to me one day, no matter how much time it takes him. But that is a very sentimental and unrealistic part of me, I’m afraid. The same part of me that thought that using pigeons was a good idea. Sure, there are benefits, but truth is, the pigeons somewhat remind me of him, as do weird names. Besides, come on, Nick_

_Of course, pretty much everything reminds me of him these days… It’s a bad time of the year, to be honest. Perhaps this is why I started this whole writing letter thing, who knows. You are right, it does help getting things off my chest. Not to mention that you don’t know me, so I can’t interfere in your life, or at least that is what I hope. You asked what the worst thing that could happen was. I hope to God it’s not too late to mention this, but don’t let my letters lead you into doing things you wouldn’t have normally done. I’m sure you won’t understand why I’m saying this and that you will think that I just don’t want to be responsible for anything in your life. We’ll leave it at that, even if it is a bit more complicated than that._

_Speaking of complicated things… What is your second theory? I’m only asking for fun, because it probably is further from the truth than your first, but I still want to know. I won’t judge if it sounds too stupid, I promise. You still figured out more than I thought you would about me so your ego should be just fine._

_One more thing. You’ve changed your handwriting between letters, I noticed. Now I should be the last to judge this, but it makes me feel like you have some secrets yourself. Any chance you would want to share them? It is only fair at this point._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Miss Trouble._


	6. Chapter 6

                Helen hadn’t thought about the mysterious stranger in years now. Why would she, after all? For some reason, the idea that she was a doctor who had slept with her patients had put him off more than anything else. That, or the way she had treated Nikola, which she had to admit that, even now, after so many years, still seemed wrong. She had thought about telling him the truth enough times, even more so now, while she had been planning her way out, but had decided against it. Telling him had the potential of giving rise to some complications she wasn’t sure she wanted. Not to mention that now, with the old Sanctuary destroyed, it was probably the best to let everybody believe she was dead.

                Of course, that part of the plan was the first that went to hell. She was in her office, working on some papers, when the door slammed open and Nikola stormed in, a haunted look upon his face. She stood up, trying to stay something, but he was having none of it. He passed her desk like it wasn’t even there and swooped her up in his arms, crushing her to his chest.

                “You are alive.” he whispered as he nuzzled closer to her ear, breathing her in. Helen had to admit that it was an exquisite feeling, having him so close, his heartbeat impossibly loud against her chest, his skin so incredibly warm that she could feel it through all the layers of clothing that were between them – too many, she thought briefly, but deeply dismissed that idea. It would have been so easy to forget everything, to let herself be caught in that embrace… But there was still something inside her that was against the idea. She couldn’t afford to get caught in her feelings, not now, when the restoring of the Sanctuary network depended on her. That was why she put some distance between them, even though she was unable to free herself fully from his grip.

                “Yes, you’re still stuck with me I’m afraid.” she joked, trying to ease up the tension. “I’m not that easy to kill, apparently.”

                “I thought you were dead, damn it!” Nikola exclaimed and there was a tone of anger in his voice that made her heart ache with remorse.            

                “Now now, it’s not my fault you have so little faith in me. I’m fine, I promise. Now if you could let me go…”

                "Not so sure I want to do that." he said with a smirk, but he let her go in the end.

                "Listen, about what I did before leaving..." she started to say but he cut her off.  "As nice as it was, I'm not here to talk about that."

                "You're not?" she asked and all gods be damned, she couldn't hide the disappointment in her voice.

                "No. I have more complicated things I need to settle." he explained. "You see, I'm just here to deliver the mail. What happens afterwards is entirely up to you."

                “Everybody thinks I’m dead, Nikola.”

                “Now, yes, but this letter was long overdue. I didn’t give it to you until now because well… I wasn’t sure it was safe, but I guess now it’s alright.” he said as he placed an envelope on her desk.

                “I’ll be in Henry’s lab if you need me.” he said softly and then he left, leaving her alone.

                She had suspected what the letter was even before she took the envelope in her hands and all memories came back to her, hitting her hard. God fucking damn it. It was too late for regrets, however, so she opened the envelope and started reading.

_Dear trouble,_

_I've always preferred to look at the oath you're referring to more like a set of guidelines than anything else. Also, I hope you won't mind me saying that, but beating yourself up about not following the part with do no harm and ignoring the fact that you completely disregarded the arguably more important part with doing unsafe experiments – not that I’m complaining, don’t get me wrong- seems a bit… counterproductive, you know?_

_Let me tell you a story about your lover. You see, he had been living a pretty normal life before meeting you. Well, if you consider having super human senses and having no explanation to that normal, that is. Not to say that you getting in his life made everything easy for him, oh no. Actually, it made everything a lot more complicated. I cannot say exactly why that is, to be quite honest. It was not the fact that he fell in love with you from the moment he first laid eyes upon you, or the fact that once he actually met you he knew that he would die before being able to get you out of his head. And considering certain… things, that wasn’t going to happen too soon, not when you were the only one that got him, the only one that could confide in him as completely as you have, and in return not judge a single time, no matter what he did. I know he pissed you off more times than any of us can count, don’t get me wrong, but, as you said, that was part of his charm and we both know that now. What complicated things between you two wasn’t even the fact that you jumped in the arms of the first son of a bitch who asked for your hand in marriage and didn’t bother to think that perhaps there were others who wanted that too. It wasn’t even the fact that after things went south with the first dickhead you went to the next one, again disregarding him. I may seem bitter about it, but really, you had nothing in common with the man apart from work and from the fact that you were both mourning the loss of an ex. And don’t even dare to try and say that he wasn’t a common ex for you two._

_However, you are still off base when you say that what complicated things between you two was Vienna. No, Vienna made them less complicated, if anything. And I’m not saying that just because I know from a pretty trustworthy source that that was the most amazing week in your life. You are right about the part with “we did things to each other that I didn’t think were humanly possible”. Am I asking too much if I want to know which part of it you’re referring to, however? I only want to know for further reference, of course. I have a theory on that too, by the way, and it involves you with your back pressed to the door, barely able to stand as your lover kissed you, a thin layer of sweat on your skin…_

_I’ll stop with the visualizing here because I am currently in a car that is leading me to the middle of nowhere and if I dream more about you passing as an old man to strangers is going to get very complicated. Yes, I’m writing this almost an hour after you killed me, just so you know. Well, sort of killed me and sort of you, but you get the point._

_Anyway, my point was that, regardless of the things you have done to your lover, I wouldn’t worry about it too much if I were you. Between you and me, the idea of letting him believe that you were happy with another and that he will forget you if you do that was probably the most stupid one you ever had. It couldn’t have worked, you see, not when your lover has something that no other man in your life had. I don’t mean the obvious differences in genius, looks or… other things which I’m sure you discovered during that week in Vienna. What I mean is that, unlike the others, he can wait for you. You gave him that, ironically, and that is exactly what he is going to do, until the end of his life. That part with him dying in your arms from your last letter worries me, but you did say I shouldn’t let it influence me, and I get why, so I’m not going to try to change that as much as I would want to. After all, I don’t think your lover could ask for a better death than dying in your arms._

_What I’m trying to say here, Helen, is that you are completely and utterly forgiven. While you did make me suffer with what you did after Vienna, the idea that, sometime in the future, you will get to the point where you realize that you will love me and that you will risk everything just to be with me more than makes up for it. Besides, I couldn’t stay mad at you for too long, not given the fact that I’m still hopelessly in love with you. I do like this you more, for obvious reasons, but the idea that I’ll get to see how this woman that looked as if a train had just hit her when I first kissed her (she still liked it, though, I just know that) will turn into someone that will love me with the same passion that I love her… That is probably the best news I had in ages. And don’t say I won’t be there to see it, because something had to happen for you to change like that, and I refuse to think it was just nostalgia. No, I must have done something right for you to come to the conclusion that you love me. I guess it’s totally against the rules to ask what that was, so I’ll just wait and see._

_In case you’re wondering how I figured it out… Well, you know I had my suspicions, but actually you were the one who confirmed it. Well, the younger you, that is. Nick is not a pigeon, is he? Not really, at least. This is why you said he had to bit me, because he can smell blood, right? Blood belonging to a specific person, that is. However, given the fact that you were his master, sending him around in a city where there is exactly one other man that has your kind of blood… That was asking for it, my dear._

_I have to admit, this is the most satisfying "I fucking knew it" moment in my life, and considering that for the second most satisfying such moment I needed 20 years, yeah, you should be honored. Also, I’m totally using “Miss Trouble” as a nickname for you, at least in certain settings. Hey, it suits you._

_Yours very truly,_

_Not a stranger – hey we know each other, even biblically, so…_

                It took her a while to work up the courage to get to Henry’s lab. She knew she was utterly busted and that there was no simple way out of this. However, maybe she didn’t need one, after all, she decided as she pressed on the handle and opened the door.

                “Oh hi Doc, Vlad here was wondering when you’ll show up.” Henry said, ignoring the look Nikola threw him.

                “Leave us, Henry.” Helen said, a note of urgency in her voice that didn’t go unnoticed.

                “You’re in so much trouble.” Henry grinned as he passed by Nikola and went to the door.

                “Not yet, but soon.” Nikola smirked. “I wouldn’t be back for a while, if I were you. We have a lot to catch up.” He said as he slammed the door in Henry’s face.


	7. Chapter 7

“Right, so that was taken care of.” Nikola said with a smirk as he turned back to Helen. “I hope he won’t need this room for the next few hours.”

“Why, what are you planning to do?” Helen asked. She was somewhere between aroused and worried, Nikola figured. Although given the way her breath hitched… No, definitely more aroused.

“Well, my love, that is entirely up to you.” He said, slowly moving toward her.  She backed up on the same pace, until her back hit the wall and she had nowhere to go. Not that she wanted to get away, anyway, not when she was so completely lost in the way that he was moving to her, taking his sweet little time. That was what she got for messing with a vampire, she thought. Not that she complained, oh no. There was something in the way he closed the distance between them, his eyes fixated on her lips, eyeing her as if he was the predator and she was the prey that made her insides melt.

“You really kept that letter all these years?”

“Is it so hard to believe? Hey, I had nothing else to think at all these years, mind you, and your letters well… They helped with some stuff.”

“Do I want to know?” Helen laughed, but the laugh died on her lips when she realized how close they were now. Their lips were millimeters away from each other, the air between them heavy with electricity, making her crazy with desire.

"As I said, what happens from now on is entirely up to you", he said as he passed his thumb over her lips, his hand then finding its way to her neck. "That being said, I would really appreciate it if you picked up the pace a little or otherwise I'm afraid I'll-" he wasn't able to finish the sentence because she cut him off, crushing her lips to his. She kissed him hard as her fingers found their way into his hair and pulled him closer, as if any distance between them would have suddenly become unacceptable. But he wasn’t going to give up this easily, so he pinned her to the wall, his knee forcing her legs open as he rubbed against her, making her moan. He was already so deliciously hard that whatever clothes were between them were almost useless, and the fact that she was already soaking wet clearly didn’t help with that.

It took him a pretty big effort, but he was finally able to unglue his lips from hers, because he had realized that her neck was more interesting at the moment, especially given the sounds that escaped her throat as he licked her neck up and down, insisting on that spot behind her ear that he knew it drove her crazy.

She didn’t like not being in control for too long, however, so neither of them were surprised when she rolled with him so that his back was now pressed to the wall. He let his claws tear her blouse apart, leaving her only in her bra. That move alone earned him a glare, but he was surprised to see a mischievous glint appear in Helen’s eyes. He didn’t even have the chance to think what had caused that, because she lowered her mouth to his neck and bit him, hard. The taste of skin was simply intoxicating, she found out, so she bit again and again, first from the sides of his neck. She stuck her fingers in his hair and tilted his head back, licking his Adam’s apple before sinking her teeth into it.

“Jesus, Helen.” He said, panting hard, while she took a small break to catch her breath. “I had no idea you have that in you, but God.” To that, she only smirked as she began working on the buttons of his shirt and didn’t stop until he was standing shirtless in front of her.

“Enjoying the view, are we?” He asked with a smirk as she admired him from head to toe, unable to take her eyes of him.

“Don’t let it go to your head.” She said as she pushed him hard against the wall and kissed his neck again, before sinking her teeth into his shoulder.

“You little vampire.” He growled as he pulled her hair, forcing her to let go. “You don’t want to play this game with me.” He warned her, his eyes pitch black with desire.

“Afraid I might win?” She asked on a teasing tone, but she couldn’t help a yelp of pain as his teeth sank deep into her neck, breaking her skin. He sucked on her wound, letting the taste of her blood take over his mouth as he drank her in, panting hard. He paused a bit, watching her in awe as she passed a finger across her wound, coating it in blood before giving it to him. He caught it between his lips and sucked it clean, his eyes never leaving hers as he did that.

“You still have a thing for this huh?” He asked amused. “You couldn’t get enough of me biting you in Vienna, remember?”

“I do.” She answered as she bit her lip. “It has its perks, I’ll give you that. However, as I’m sure you may recall, we had agreed that sucking my blood was cheating.”

“Well yes but you know me and rules.” Nikola smirked. “And anyway what are you going to-“ he wasn’t able to finish the sentence because she put a gun to his chest, pushing him away.

“Using your gun is also cheating, you know that, yes?” He asked but instead of answering she pushed him further, making him walk the whole room until his back hit the opposite wall. When he got there, she lowered her gun on his body, caressing his abdomen with it before going even lower, until it got between his legs.

“Now, now, Helen, careful with that gun, you wouldn’t want to shoot anything you’ll need later.” Nikola said and she was happy to hear worry creeping into his voice.

“You do have a point.” She agreed as she dropped her gun and cupped him in her palm, squeezing hard.

 “Fuck, Helen.” He moaned as she caressed him through his pants, fumbling with his zipper in a desperate attempt to get to his skin. When she finally managed to do that, she wasn’t able to enjoy her victory for too long, because he rolled with her, pinning her hands to the wall with his own. His claws sank into her wrists, drawing blood, and he relished the sight of it dripping down her arms before licking it clean.

“I dreamt about this, you know.” He whispered in her ear as she got out of her skirt, leaving only her panties on. “Your taste on my lips, your legs opening up for me.” His voice was lower now, heavy with desire, and that alone made her whimper. ”But, most of all, the thought that I can do this to you, make you forget about ration and all…” It was all he said before taking her right there, against the wall, as she encircled his waist with her legs, pushing him further inside her. He thrust in her again and again, as she sank her teeth into his shoulder to stop herself from screaming. It took them deliciously long to come, and when they finally did, they collapsed on the floor, their backs against the wall as they tried to regain their breaths.

“God I missed that.” Helen smiled as her fingers found his.

“I don’t want to live a single day without this, not anymore.” He answered and there was so much vulnerability in his eyes that it made her heart ache. Why the hell did she have to keep him waiting for so long?

“Then don’t.” She said simply. “I’m not very fond of the idea of letting you go either.”

“Helen I swear to God, if you say this without actually meaning it…” He said with a sigh but she passed a finger over his lips, silencing him. “I’m done running, I promise.” She whispered before kissing him one more time.


End file.
